Jaze's story

Monday 1 February 2020

Yesterday I had to come to the hospital again. I didn't want to. My mum and Dad made me. It was very bad.

My skin hurt so much I couldn't walk because of a big sore patch on the bottom of my foot and it didn’t feel the same it was like a funny feeling like pins and needles in it. I haven't been sleeping either because I was very itchy and I couldn't stop scratching then it hurt so bad the paracetamol doesn’t work the pain is that bad I can’t get in the bath or have anything touch me it stings like worse pain ever. I was still awake at 5am and I had to sleep with my mum she tried to hold my hands to stop me from cutting myself.

Yesterday I was fed up with living like this as I’m just getting worse. I didn't eat any food or drink anything and when it was time for my medications I would not have them, my Mum and Dad tried to force me but I spit them out. I was very angry.

I said things like swear words and blamed my family and doctors for not getting me better. I said I wanted to die because it felt so bad that’s why I wouldn't eat or drink or have my medicines so I would die quicker. My sister got upset because I said this. This made me mad and I hurt her. My Mum and Dad tried to stop me so I hurt them too. I am fed up of blood all over my clothes and bed. It’s disgusting and sticky, and then I have to pick and scratch the scabs because it feels so nice. It feels even better when it bleeds; sometimes I hide so I can scratch and no one can tell me to stop.

PS: I had to type this because I can't write. My hands hurt too much.

People have noticed me first, not my eczema

Jaze

11 weeks after starting the Dupilumab treatment